Writing romance novels is as thrilling as watching a Springboks vs. All Blacks test match—full of drama, intensity, and those nail-biting moments that leave you on the edge of your seat. But let’s be honest: it can also be awkward enough to make you want to fake an injury and call it a day. Case in point? Writing the perfect kiss scene. Sure, you can craft a heart-wrenching breakup or a tearful reunion like a pro, but somehow, describing a lip-lock can feel as tricky as scoring a try against a rock-solid defence.
So how do you research kissing techniques for your romance novel? Practising in the mirror? (We won’t judge.) Binge-watching every rom-com since the dawn of time? Or perhaps, like most of us, you find yourself typing increasingly suspect phrases into Google. Strap in, folks—it’s time to dive into the slightly mortifying, occasionally hilarious world of kiss research, where romance meets reality (and reality can get a bit...sloppy).
When Research Gets Awkward
Picture this: You’re cruising through your manuscript, your protagonists’ chemistry is off the charts, and then—bam! It’s time for the kiss. Suddenly, your fingers freeze above the keyboard. How do you describe this pivotal moment without sounding cringe-worthy?
Cue the frantic internet searches. Your once-pristine browser history—full of holiday destinations and Woolies specials—now reads like the fever dream of a hopeless romantic: “How to kiss passionately,” “Different types of kisses,” and the classic “How to describe a kiss without it sounding gross.” By the time you’re done, you’re not sure whether to laugh or apologise to Google.
The Café Conundrum
And if you’re bold (or foolish) enough to research this in public, you’re in for some fun. Picture yourself at your local café, sipping a flat white while trying to blend in with other writers. But while they’re innocently Googling the Battle of Blood River or the difference between cappuccinos and cortados, your screen is a minefield of slow-motion kissing tutorials.
You sneak glances around, praying no one’s noticed your deep dive into “how to make a kiss scene sizzle.” The barista gives you a raised eyebrow as you furiously jot down notes, trying not to burst out laughing every time you come across a phrase like “their lips crashed together.” At this point, you’re one over-enthusiastic “smack” sound effect away from being asked to leave.
The Fine Line Between Sizzling and Slobbery
Writing the perfect kiss is a delicate dance. You want it to feel electric without crossing into cringe-worthy territory. Yes, the temptation to write “their tongues tangoed” or “their lips battled for dominance” is real, but let’s not. The goal is to make your readers swoon, not put them off their biltong.
A great kiss scene isn’t about over-the-top drama or gallons of saliva—it’s about connection. It’s that heart-stopping moment when characters’ feelings finally boil over, leaving readers fanning themselves with the book. And while it might take a few awkward research sessions to get it just right, trust me, it’ll be worth it.
When Research Pays Off
Despite the cringe, nothing beats the satisfaction of nailing that kiss scene. When you capture the chemistry, the tension, and the sheer magic of that moment, your readers will be hooked. They’ll swoon, they’ll cheer, and some might even wish they were one half of the smooching couple.
So if you find yourself knee-deep in kissing tutorials and questioning your life choices, remember this: You’re not alone. Every romance writer has faced the dreaded kiss conundrum, and every one of us has emerged with a scene that makes the awkwardness worthwhile.
Embrace the Awkwardness
Yes, researching how to write kisses can feel a bit like confessing your most embarrassing secret on live TV, but it’s all part of the process. Embrace the hilarity, dive into the research, and let your imagination run wild. After all, you’re not just writing about a kiss—you’re crafting a moment your readers will never forget.
And if that means enduring a few side-eyes from your barista or laughing at yourself along the way, so be it. Your characters—and your readers—will thank you.
Of course, if you think researching kisses is bad, just wait until you tackle those steamy sex scenes. But that’s a topic for another post—one that might require a strong drink and an even stronger Wi-Fi password.
Now go forth, brave romance writer, and pucker up for perfection!
#RomanceWriting #WritingTips #RomanceAuthors #WritersLife #WritingCommunity #KissScenes #AuthorHumor #WritingJourney #AmWritingRomance
Comments